This week has been the first normal week of 2018. I say normal, by that I mean it’s been my first full week back at work – the 8am starts have surprisingly not been that bad. I’ve also played the first netball match of the season too – we lost. Boo. The first trip of 2018 is also locked in and ready to go. BERLIN, I’M COMING FOR YOU.
But that’s not to say this week hasn’t been difficult. Because it still has. Grief is a weird process isn’t it? Is it okay to feel happy when your loved one isn’t around anymore? It also suddenly hits you when you’re least expecting it.
I’m just taking it step by step though. Day by day. Trying to go with the flow of emotions, when in the past I’ve just got on with shit.
I’ve been reading more, and going to bed earlier in an effort to take more care of myself.
And it’s actually going okay. And it means I can be there more for people when they need me, which I know they do right now.
Yes, I almost cried while walking through Headingley the other day. For no other reason than I saw an ambulance whizzing through the streets.
Yes, I still can’t bring myself to look at the service sheet from my Grandad’s funeral because I know I’ll see his face looking back at me.
But, on the whole, taking things step by step is getting me through things. And, I think that’s the only way to do things at the moment.
Read More: Getting Out Into The Fresh Air
Does this make sense to anyone else? Apologies for the ramble, but sometimes, getting thoughts to paper can help a lot.